


Brian Henson's Therapy

by Merlin Missy (mtgat)



Category: Farscape
Genre: Filk, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-07
Updated: 2010-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtgat/pseuds/Merlin%20Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rygel is an obnoxious, green, amphibious Muppet who takes a lot of abuse.  I have a theory why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brian Henson's Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> I am deeply, deeply disturbed. But not nearly so much as the producers of "Farscape." The tune  
> is original, so pick your own and go for it. (I have been told there's a song from "Muppet  
> Treasure Island" that scans wonderfully.)

Once upon a long lost time  
Ten billion souls I held as mine  
I had a thousand concubines  
And ruled with a noble hand  
And how is it that I should fall  
To be the butt of one and all  
This life I live! These names I'm called!  
I'm beginning to understand

I think I'm Brian Henson's therapy:  
There's no other reason that I see  
For all that has become of me  
Or why my state in life has sunk so low  
A kinder gentler person, I should think,  
Would talk it over with a shrink  
Or drown it all in heavy drink  
But our co-producer, goodness no  
There's just one thought that makes it clear to me:  
I'm surely Brian Henson's therapy

My myriad aggravations start  
With the plot behind my part:  
Did you know he has me fart  
At least one scene in ten?  
Make me bargain, make me lie  
Stick a needle in my eye  
Crush my throat until I die  
And bring me back again

I think I'm Brian Henson's therapy:  
Villains stab and shoot at me  
(Cargo bay - I'll take a pee)  
Tell me what I ever did to him?  
He's made my royal life a frelling mess  
But in comparison, I guess,  
To John Crichton I am blessed:  
That man has died more times than Harry Kim  
There's just one thought that makes it clear to me:  
We're surely Brian Henson's therapy

Put my patience to the test  
Send me in the insects' nest  
"You're the smallest, you'll fit best"  
And push me through the wall  
Make me eat three weeks' of food  
Make me fart and call me rude  
It's plain to see that I'm one screwed  
Two foot talking doll

I think I'm Brian Henson's therapy:  
"Dominar" I used to be  
No one pays much heed to me  
So through the scripts each week I'm force to slog  
There's something not quite kosher in his brain  
I don't think the man is sane  
Each time I go up to complain  
He tells me, "Back on stage, you frelling frog!"  
There's just one thought that makes it clear to me:  
I'm surely Brian Henson's  
We're surely Brian Henson's  
I'm surely Brian Henson's therapy!


End file.
